Be Kind to Yourself

One of my biggest struggles in life has been overcoming my own self-judgement. Most of my life there has been an incredibly loud inner critic telling me I wasn’t good enough or that I wasn’t smart enough or that I was too fat or you name it. The “critic” had something to say about almost everything I did or attempted to do. I’ve had to learn to treat myself with grace and kindness. To understand that there are things I’m bad at and that’s ok, but that there are also things I’m great at and it’s absolutely ok to own that and live in that.

I’ve lost 71 pounds over this year and I’ve just recently allowed myself to be proud of it, yet still there are days people say something encouraging and I blow it off by saying, “Yeah but I’ve still got 100 more to lose.” (my way of deflecting a compliment because I’m still learning that it’s ok to feel good about myself)  All this to say, learning to be kind to yourself is incredibly important at sustaining not just physical health, but also mental health. So today, I’m sitting here, still way too afraid of what others think, and listening to that “critic in my head” less than I was, but still too often. I’m learning to be proud of who I am and what I’ve done; not just the last few months, but my whole life. To know that I’m deeply loved by God and that He has uniquely and wonderfully made me -- flaws and gifts and everything else.

I also sit here hoping that anyone who reads this, might understand a whole lot sooner than I did, and step into the reality of who they are and learn to be kind to themselves no matter what. The other day I asked my son Simms, who’s 11 years old, “what are the 5 things you love about yourself?” He at first didn’t really know how to respond, and he wasn’t able to think of 5 things right away. As he sat and pondered he came up with 3: kind, smart, and fun. Those are all true things about who God has made him to be and it was incredible to see him light up as he named each one of those characteristics. He still, like all of us, has a long way to go in terms of loving himself the way he needs too. Today he is working on that though, working on the simple, or difficult task of thinking of 2 more things to add to his list.

Today, take some time to start your own list. It’s ok if you don’t fill it up right a way as well. Just start. Start being kind to yourself.